Ode to Men in Kilts
Oh sexy men in your wee kilts
Making us wonder such delights
Tantalising our imaginations
As you so sweetly pass us by…
Are you enjoying the attention?
Whilst our thoughts are running wild
With mouthwatering anticipation…
A true Scotsman swings free they say
Taking in the fresh breeze
Are you really warm and toasty under there?
The temptation is arousing
To look, feel and touch
Whilst you sway and jig…
We’re yearning for a gust of wind
To set our minds at ease
Just to give us a wee peek
Aye…how I want to slap your damn fine derriere!
© debradml (2013)
A Song For Kilts
How grand the human race would be
If every man would wear a kilt,
A flirt of Tartan finery,
Instead of trousers, custom built!
Nay, do not think I speak to joke:
(You know I’m not that kind of man),
I am convinced that all men folk.
Should wear the costume of a Clan.
Imagine how it’s braw and clean
As in the wind it flutters free;
And so conducive to hygiene
In its sublime simplicity.
No fool fly-buttons to adjust,—
Wi’ shanks and maybe buttocks bare;
Oh chiels, just take my word on trust,
A bonny kilt’s the only wear.
’Twill save a lot of siller too,
(And here a canny Scotsman speaks),
For one good kilt will wear you through
A half-a-dozen pairs of breeks.
And how it’s healthy in the breeze!
And how it swings with saucy tilt!
How lassies love athletic knees
Below the waggle of a kilt!
True, I just wear one in my mind,
Since sent to school by Celtic aunts,
When girls would flip it up behind,
Until I begged for lowland pants.
But now none dare do that to me,
And so I sing with lyric lilt,—
How happier the world would be
If every male would wear a kilt!
By Robert Service (1874 – 1958)